


Cottonball

by LesbianDragon_LD



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Edeleth, El's crown is both dumb and amazing, F/F, Fluff, Oblivious My Unit | Byleth, gay panic edelgard, idk whatelse to tag this as?, there's a ram
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-07 00:24:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21205754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LesbianDragon_LD/pseuds/LesbianDragon_LD
Summary: During times of war one's mine should be focused on war alone.Byleth being Byleth is the only exception to that rule...and so the professor finds herself responsible for the Black Eagles Strike Force's new mascot: a ram.Poor Edelgard never stood a chance.





	Cottonball

**Author's Note:**

> Is this too dumb? Yes.  
Do I like writing dumb scenarios? Yes.  
Do I like hc Byleth and El as complete dorks who upon facing dumb situations get really dorky yet soft for each other? Also yes.  
Did I only write this because of El's dumbass yet amazing crown that I only mention one time in the fic? No.
> 
> Just kiding, it's yes again.

“Your majesty? Lady Edelgard?” 

Upon hearing Hubert call out for her as he knocked, Edelgard set her work down. She hurried to the door to allow Hubert inside the library that had served as her personal study inside the monastery. Upon opening it, she saw that the dark mage had a strange expression on his face, and Edelgard was immediately concerned.

“My Lady, the professor has-“ Hubert started, only for Edelgard to interrupt him, unable to contain her worry;

“Is Byleth hurt? Where is she? I have to see her immediately and-“

As she panicked, Hubert apologized profoundly for the unnecessary scare he accidentally gave her and immediately assured Edelgard that nothing bad had happened to their professor or to anyone in their army. The empress sighed in relief, yet still cursing to herself for instantly fearing the worst.

“As I meant to say, the professor has…well, I have no idea on how to put it. The scouting mission was successful and our army brought back many goods... and a ram.”

Edelgard froze.

“Excuse me?”

“A ram, Lady Edelgard” Hubert proclaimed yet again, “it’s just…a ram. As in a male sheep-“

Edelgard pinched the bridged of her nose. She had missed her professor for the five years they had thought they lost her, but she had certainly not missed her professor’s strange antics.

“Yes, I’m aware of what a ram is, Hubert” Edelgard continued, “my awe is as to what exactly our professor intends to do with one in the middle of the war. I’m almost afraid to ask, I don’t think I even want to know.”

Hubert chuckled.

“Perhaps it really is best that you remain unaware. However, if you are curious, you can discuss the matter personally with our dearest professor. From what I heard from Ferdinand, this is a mess I do not wish to be caught in.”

As Hubert politely bowed and retreated, Edelgard was left alone, wondering what on earth possessed Byleth to do these things. But instead of finding her and inquiring her about it, Edelgard decided to finish her work first instead, having the letters and documents scattered on her table requiring urgent attention. So she sat down again, reading and replying to the letters from various political allies and signing official papers, absolutely lost in her task.  
She worked for quite some time before she saw it.  
She had lifted her head from a paper for a mere second when her peripheral vision caught sight of something white.  
She turned her head, and there it was.  
That damned ram.  
For a moment she locked eyes with the animal, which merely stood at the doorway eyeing her with as much curiosity as Edelgard herself was eyeing it with.  
And then, Edelgard noticed what it had in its mouth.  
And Edelgard turned crimson red.

“H-how did you get that?” she desperately shouted at the animal as she had caught a glimpse of a paper in its mouth. The cursed thing was munching on a portrait Edelgard had drawn of Byleth, and it was one of her best ones too. 

Edelgard wasted no time getting up to approach it, walking towards it slowly at first but the scared ram still ran away from her. As the ram trotted faster and further away from her, so did Edelgard speed up her pace.  
And then, Lady Edelgard Von Hresvelg, the Emperor of Adrestia, was running around at full speed on the second floor of Garreg Mach while desperately trying to jump on a wild ram.  
The ram managed to knock down some vases and shelves on its run, leaving a messy trail behind it as it fled through the corridors. The noise of things falling and breaking caught the attention of the people who were on the floor below, and soon many were rushing to the second floor to see what was going on.  
Hubert was the first one to arrive at the scene, naturally, as he was deeply concerned for Edelgard’s well being. Behind him arrived the rest of the Black Eagles’ ex-students, lead by Byleth. Yet all of them were surprised to find a very distressed Edelgard wrestling the ram, with an arm around the ram’s neck and a hand trying to reach for its mouth as the animal tried to kick her off of himself.  
After their initial shock, Hubert was the first one to break out of his trance by letting out a weird shriek, suddenly reminded that Edelgard could get seriously hurt as he ran to separate her from the ram. As soon as Hubert forced Edelgard to let go of it by separating her from the animal (despite the empress’s protests), the now free ram ran as fast as it could past everyone and jumped his way around down the stairs in order to flee as far away as possible from Edelgard.

“Wait, don’t let it get away! It still has my-“Edelgard started to shout as Hubert helped her up, but before she could finish both Byleth and her friends were running after the animal. Edelgard immediately regretted her decision, trying to run after them to stop them before they found her drawings that the ram still had in its mouth. Hubert, however, firmly insisted that she shouldn’t strain herself and risk getting hurt, regardless of what the ram had stolen. By the time she had managed to convince Hubert to go after them, she knew the others had a huge advantage and would probably get to the ram first.

~.~.~.~

“Find anything?” Ferdinand asked Caspar and Linhardt, but they both shook their heads.

“This is your fault for falling asleep when you were supposed to watch him!” Caspar complained to Linhardt, the taller man glaring at him.

“Hey! This wouldn’t have happened if you had fixed the fence, as you were supposed to!” Linhardt shot back at him, Caspar ready to interject but Ferdinand interrupted to stop him;

“We will never find it if we keep bickering! We have to work together to-“

Before he could finish, a distressed Dorothea emerged.

“Did you find him? We had no luck back there, even Petra can’t seem to track it down and she’s the most experienced with hunting! Edie’s going to kill us… poor Bernie is already panicking at the thought…”

The three men shook their heads as Ferdinand explained that they had looked everywhere in that area and still found no trace of either the ram or anything it had taken, much to Dorothea’s despair.

“Oh…I just hope he didn’t steal anything that important from Edie...otherwise Hubie will make stew out of him…” Dorothea cried out.

The four exchanged a look between themselves before they all turned their gaze towards Byleth.  
The old professor was a long distance away from their group, calling out for the ram as she searched inside bushes and behind wooden crates scattered thorough. But despite frantically calling and searching for the ram, Byleth didn’t seem to look as nervous as the others.

“It’s lucky she’s Edelgard’s sweetheart, or else she’d be punished for this mess. It’s only her fault for bringing it back with us…” Linhardt lazily commented, as Dorothea and Ferdinand shot him disapproving looks.

“We’re all in this as we all agreed on it! Regardless, we will find him and make up for our mistakes!” Ferdinand proudly proclaimed before he heard a whine behind him.

Petra and Bernadetta had joined them, as disappointed with their own search as the four were. They all started to discuss where the ram could have possibly have run off to when they saw Hubert and Edelgard stroll by. Unsurprisingly, Edelgard made her way directly to Byleth instead of stopping by their group, with Hubert following close behind.

“Edelgard looks mad! Poor professor!” Bernadetta cried out in horror as they all watched from a safe distance.

“Edelgard has a face that looks strict, do not cry Bernadetta! I will be doubting she will hurt the professor!” Petra tried to calm Bernadetta down, but the shy woman only made an even more desperate noise.

“Oh please” Dorothea couldn’t help but laugh “as if our dear Edie would harm the professor she is so head over heels for. Edie can’t even deny the professor anything and much less can she get mad at her for long!”

The whole group nodded in agreement.

“I bet 10 gold she’s going to let us keep our mascot!” Caspar exclaimed.

“I bet 20 gold she is going to not only allow us, but she will give it special treatment as well. She’s going to let it sleep on a nice spare room instead of having it confined to the stables, and she’s going to let it walk around like a dog!” Linhardt added.

“I bet 20 gold too, on Lin’s bet… and I add that the professor is going to make Edie love him and keep him like a real pet!” Dorothea added after.

The group then started discussing various bets about the situation, but they still kept watching intently what unfolded where Byleth stood.  
And away from them, Byleth was still searching, completely unaware of Edelgard and Hubert approaching from behind.

“Come here, boy! Come on!” Byleth called out, as Edelgard tried her best not to laugh at the fact that she was calling a ram as if it were a dog. Edelgard then cleared her throat, immediately getting Byleth’s attention. Byleth turned around to face Edelgard and Hubert. Edelgard looked slightly annoyed and Hubert was behind her and crossing his arms, looking as if he was ready to give Byleth the earful of her life as soon as Edelgard let him speak. 

“Care to explain why you brought back a ram with you, my professor?” Edelgard let out, and Hubert added about how Byleth’s antics could have hurt Edelgard had the ram turned violent instead. 

“He wasn’t supposed to climb up the stairs, I don’t even know how he did it…and jumping over the broken fence like that, and managing to dodge everyone…he’s a fine specimen for doing-“

Before Byleth became lost in her praise of the ram as she truly was greatly impressed by its accomplishments, Edelgard cleared her throat again and repeated her question;

“My teacher, why did you get a ram?”

Edelgard’s tone wasn’t harsh. Instead she just sounded genuinely curious yet somewhat tired. Byleth knew there was no point in stalling and decided to just come forward with everything instead.

“It was meant to be a surprise.”

“A…a surprise?” Edelgard let out, absolutely dumbfounded. She didn’t know what to expect but she certainly didn’t expect this. She looked back at Hubert and he seemed surprised as well. Perhaps Ferdinand hadn’t told him everything after all.

“It’s more or less a gift” Byleth started to explain, “while it’s true that we found him lost in the remnants of an abandoned village by coincidence, we all found him to be rather cute and friendly, as he approached us first…Dorothea made a joke about how his horns look like your crown and we decided to adopt him as the new mascot of the Black Eagles Strike Force!”

“His…horns? And my…” Edelgard mumbled, unconsciously lifting a hand to grip her crown, feeling the tip of one of her fake horns. She started to blush a deep shade of red as she mumbled a quiet “oh.”

“I…I only knew the last part. I had no idea it was a personal gift, my Lady” Hubert confessed, also slightly embarrassed.

“I’m sorry if he caused you trouble” Byleth apologized, and Edelgard was starting to melt at her sad puppy dog eyes, “we really did mean to fix the fence and take you to him instead but he got to you first… Whatever he stole, if we can’t find it I’ll do my best to replace it! If it’s work I can try to help, or if it’s a rare item I can talk to the merchants and-“

“N-no, my teacher, that won’t be necessary!” Edelgard interrupted, distressed, “I promise it was nothing important. Let us forget the whole ordeal and find that-“

Before Edelgard could finish, she felt a force hit the back of her knees and shove her forward as the ram showed up suddenly from near bushes and headbutted straight into her, much to everyone’s surprise. Edelgard lost her balance and fell forward, straight into Byleth’s arms as her professor held her so she wouldn’t hit the floor. Hubert immediately launched himself on top of the ram, preventing it from fleeing again as a very red Edelgard panicked at the fact that Byleth was holding her.  
Byleth helped Edelgard get back on her feet again as she tried to compose herself and apologized. Then they turned to the ram that was being held in place by Hubert.  
To their surprise, he didn’t seem scared anymore. Instead he seemed proud for striking Edelgard, calmly enjoying his sweet revenge. And then, he spit out the papers onto the ground. Without giving it second thoughts, Edelgard jumped in before Byleth could catch a glimpse, picking all the semi-ruined papers up and quickly hiding them behind her back as she mumbled something about them being private and work related affairs.  
Byleth didn’t question it, just happy that they had found their ram again and that Edelgard had recovered what she had lost. Hubert let the ram go free soon after, but the animal didn’t seem to be in the mood to run away again. Instead, he tried to headbutt Edelgard’s legs again, this time with less force, and again he pushed Edelgard towards Byleth, much to Edelgard’s embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why he’s acting like this…he was so tame before he ran to the second floor!” Byleth apologized as she tried to get herself in between him and Edelgard, and unintentionally grabbing Edelgard in a strange embrace in the process and making Edelgard scream internally with joy. Suddenly Edelgard didn’t hate that little rascal of a ram anymore.

“If you don’t want to keep him I understand and we-“

“No! It’s fine!” Edelgard interrupted Byleth, who was still ‘hugging’ her as Edelgard burst with joy inside, “I’ll keep him, my teacher!”

Hubert pinched his nose at the sad display in front of him. A quick glance and he could see the Black Eagles Strike Force wheezing in the distance, as they watched. His poor Lady Edelgard never stood a chance, did she?

“Do you want me to teach you how to feed him?” Byleth asked Edelgard, to which she excitedly said yes as they both walked away, trying make the ram follow them to the stables. As they excitedly exchanged ideas for names and walked away, Hubert could hear the empress shout an excited “Cottonball!” and see Byleth smile and nod in agreement.  
Hubert sighed.  
This was just like Lady Edelgard picking up a name for the Black Eagles Strike Force all over again.  
Hubert gave up.  
Hubert needed a drink.


End file.
